This is a reflection inspired by a conversation I had today with Naama from Girltelligence as well as her startup’s overall mission!
In a world where patriarchy rules, we all know how much women have to work to get their due. It’s what my mission is based on, and I’ve been reflecting on some recent conversations I’ve had about the ways in which I do this. I’m proud that my mission has always been about changing the status quo. Education, introspection, and awareness (my three pillars) are all aimed at restructuring society away from its patriarchal roots. I work to build sisterhood and allyship among everyone involved. It’s so important for me, as I run an organization dedicated to helping women take a seat at the table, to ensure that the seats we are taking aren’t at the expense of other women, but rather carved out through our work to change opportunity gaps. Focusing on changing the status quo means helping women claim what they deserve. It’s about us all helping each other to get there together. “Girl power” is not about trampling other women to get to the top. But that is the problem I’m seeing. To put it simply, women are fighting tooth and nail for that one spot at the table rather than advocating for more spots at that same table. In order to get ahead, many women are willing to put down other women and compete for a spot rather than attempting to change the status quo. Of course, to an ambitious young woman raised in a patriarchy, this seems like the only option in order to achieve her goals. Yet, this actively supports and enables the patriarchy and is only damaging to all women, including her, in the long run. As Medium’s Arah Iloabugichukwu put it, “amongst women living under gendered oppression, the victor, the villain and the victim are often one and the same.” It’s prominent among young people as well. Whether it be school situations, professional settings, or even social environments, girls are under such pressure to prove themselves as bright or worthy that they’re willing to do so at the expense of other girls. Even phrases such as “I’m not like other girls” feed into a system where women seek male validation by distancing themselves from other women. It is destructive to the mission of dismantling the patriarchy. In networking with youth organizations like my own, I’ve seen far too much cutthroat competition amongst female led non-profits with similar missions. I’ve questioned far too many times why they would be so willing to stomp on each other to get ahead when they all have the same overarching goals. Is it the immense pressure to do well as a youth and female led organization? Is it fear of not being taken seriously as young women? Is it other motivating factors like college admissions and recognition? These are all just my own reflections, but I do see a major takeaway here. We need to actively change the way we seek to empower women. It’s not just about one woman; it’s about all of us who live under patriarchy. And that’s what I’m trying to do here at LeadHERship. I hope you’ll join me.
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Neha SaggiFounder and director of LeadHERship. Archives
March 2021
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