This is a reflection inspired by a conversation I had today with Naama from Girltelligence as well as her startup’s overall mission!
In a world where patriarchy rules, we all know how much women have to work to get their due. It’s what my mission is based on, and I’ve been reflecting on some recent conversations I’ve had about the ways in which I do this. I’m proud that my mission has always been about changing the status quo. Education, introspection, and awareness (my three pillars) are all aimed at restructuring society away from its patriarchal roots. I work to build sisterhood and allyship among everyone involved. It’s so important for me, as I run an organization dedicated to helping women take a seat at the table, to ensure that the seats we are taking aren’t at the expense of other women, but rather carved out through our work to change opportunity gaps. Focusing on changing the status quo means helping women claim what they deserve. It’s about us all helping each other to get there together. “Girl power” is not about trampling other women to get to the top. But that is the problem I’m seeing. To put it simply, women are fighting tooth and nail for that one spot at the table rather than advocating for more spots at that same table. In order to get ahead, many women are willing to put down other women and compete for a spot rather than attempting to change the status quo. Of course, to an ambitious young woman raised in a patriarchy, this seems like the only option in order to achieve her goals. Yet, this actively supports and enables the patriarchy and is only damaging to all women, including her, in the long run. As Medium’s Arah Iloabugichukwu put it, “amongst women living under gendered oppression, the victor, the villain and the victim are often one and the same.” It’s prominent among young people as well. Whether it be school situations, professional settings, or even social environments, girls are under such pressure to prove themselves as bright or worthy that they’re willing to do so at the expense of other girls. Even phrases such as “I’m not like other girls” feed into a system where women seek male validation by distancing themselves from other women. It is destructive to the mission of dismantling the patriarchy. In networking with youth organizations like my own, I’ve seen far too much cutthroat competition amongst female led non-profits with similar missions. I’ve questioned far too many times why they would be so willing to stomp on each other to get ahead when they all have the same overarching goals. Is it the immense pressure to do well as a youth and female led organization? Is it fear of not being taken seriously as young women? Is it other motivating factors like college admissions and recognition? These are all just my own reflections, but I do see a major takeaway here. We need to actively change the way we seek to empower women. It’s not just about one woman; it’s about all of us who live under patriarchy. And that’s what I’m trying to do here at LeadHERship. I hope you’ll join me.
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On social media lately, there’s been a lot of talk about how recent movements have “hurt” men. In particular, there is a harmful trend on Tik Tok where users make videos asking whether women should be punished for false allegations. The annoying thing: it’s illegal. Why are we “debating” it? I had some issues with the way people are framing the conversation about coming forward, and I recently had a comment on my Instagram saying that “the Me Too movement oppresses men.” At that point, I decided to make a post.
First, here is some background. The Me Too movement intends to demonstrate the magnitude of the problem by exhibiting how widespread and common it is. The movement empowers survivors through empathy, solidarity, and strength in numbers, especially young and vulnerable women, by visibly demonstrating how many people have survived sexual assault and harassment, especially in the workplace. It has led to higher awareness of how industries and power structures structures allow perpetrators to go unpunished. Saying this also invalidates men’s struggles and silences them by assuming that only women face sexual violence. So let’s unpack the idea that men feel oppressed by it. First thing, ask them to think about why they feel threatened. Usually, it comes under three categories. One, they’re angry that men’s careers might be ruined for sexual assault. Two, they’re worried that a gesture they don’t see as sexual assault will get them in “trouble.” Three, they’re worried about false accusations potentially ruining their own career. In response to the first concern: to put it simply, if someone commits an act of sexual assault, they must face consequences, and this shouldn’t be a debate! In addition, it simply isn’t safe for anyone to go to work with or live in a community with predators. As for the second concern: Women are allowed to have boundaries. Simple rule: don’t touch them unnecessarily and without consent, and don’t make suggestive remarks or jokes. It’s called being respectful! If they think they shouldn’t have to worry about physical contact, it’s time for them to look within themselves and ask why they feel entitled to women’s bodies. It’s simple: be respectful of women’s boundaries (be a decent person) and your career is safe. There are some important things to consider when we think about false allegations. First, let’s make it clear just how hard it is to come forward in the first place. US Bureau of Justice Statistics suggest only 35% of all sexual assaults are even reported to the police. Around 2-6% of reports are false accusations. There is no question that someone making a false allegation should face consequences, and false accusations are illegal. However the fact that it’s so rare makes it somewhat ridiculous that people’s first thought is “she’s making it up.” In fact, the idea that society looks to disprove rather than prove the survivor’s story is a major reason that it’s so difficult to come forward and a major reason that so many perpetrators avoid consequences. Sexual abuse causes severe psychological trauma. Survivors do not come forward for a wide variety of reasons, including fear of retaliation, fear of defamation, fear of career issues, fear of being blamed, and most importantly, fear of not being believed or taken seriously. It takes incredible bravery for survivors to come forward in an environment where their life could be ruined for it. Stop trivializing their experiences because you feel threatened by the idea that you’ll be held accountable for your actions. Stop invalidating survivors. The Covid-19 pandemic has brought to light many injustices in our societal structure. As Catherine Powell, an associate professor at Fordham University, notes, the pandemic "lays bare underlying gendered and raced inequalities" in our nation. The intersection of these identities for women of color has made the pandemic a particularly devastating time.
Let's start with gendered imbalances. Women make up the majority of essential workers, as well as 77% of healthcare workers. Women (especially WOC) are more likely than men to live in poverty, meaning that they have a higher risk of food insecurity in a time where their usual resources such as grocery stores and food banks are experiencing shortages. Women who live in homes with unsafe conditions, as a result of domestic violence for example, are left without safe ways to leave. There are additional challenges for women of color, especially immigrants and undocumented women, who may face language barriers, lack of community, or fear of deportation. People of color also face increased risks during this pandemic. Education systems in low income communities have less infrastructure and resources. People of color are overrepresented in low income communities, and their schools have been closed by the pandemic, but many of these communities and education centers do not have the resources to provide quality online education OR move to reopen soon. Black, Latinx, and Indigenous communities have shown highers rates of infection and increased fatality rates from Covid-19 compared to whites, and Asian communities have been hit with increased violence and xenophobia, particularly demonstrated by rampant hate crimes. The virus disproportionately affects both people of color and women. Women of color face the implications of both these identities. On top of this, there is more. Women of color are overrepresented in some industries experiencing the biggest job losses due to the virus, such as childcare. Those still working do not have the option to work safely from home. Healthcare systems are notorious for not treating women of color properly. WOC are underrepresented in medical research and data sets and have statistically worse healthcare outcomes as a result. This is especially dangerous during a pandemic. Women of color, due to their identity as women and their identity as people of color, are at an increased risk of contracting the virus, and the situation caused by the virus disproportionately affects them and their futures. Wear a mask. Social distance. Keep those around you safe. Sources: Forbes and Society for Women's Health Research *This blog post was adapted from an Instagram thread posted 7/24/20* I received a couple of DMs a few days ago asking why I’d used the spelling “womxn” in a previous post and whether it was a typo! The short answer is: no, it wasn’t!
Firstly, I’d like to make it clear that no one HAS to use “womxn” rather than “woman/women.” Of course, the traditional spelling, “woman,” can apply to anyone who identifies this way! However, as I’m about to explain, using the “x” signals inclusivity in a way that the traditional spelling does not. This makes it extremely clear, so that no one has to wonder whether or not they are included when someone uses the word! In acknowledgement of the feminist movement’s history of exclusivity and white feminism, I am always aiming to do better! Now, let’s jump in! As I mentioned, the spelling “womxn” is intentionally inclusive. Olivia Romero, the co-founder of Pikes Peak Womxn for Liberation, says, “the spelling of ‘womxn’ is meant to show inclusion of trans, nonbinary, womxn of color, womxn with disabilities, and all other marginalized genders” The spelling “womxn” also breaks free from linguistic and patriarchal norms by removing the suffixes “-man” and “-men,” indicating the denial to be defined by a man. To summarize, it avoids using the spelling “women,” which contains and derives from “men,” to label any woman who has historically been excluded. By using this spelling, feminists communicate safety. With us, your gender will be respected, your pronouns used correctly, and your voice considered with equal weight. In fact, this spelling is yet another indicator of how the feminist movement has become increasingly intersectional in its third and fourth waves, and it continues to strive to be inclusive of all identities. We accept you as you are. I made this list in partnership with Our Future of Change, an organization I'm part of! It is the youth-led chapter of Her Future Coalition, an organization that works to support survivors of gender violence and combat human trafficking in India, Nepal, and many other countries. Check out HFC here and OFOC here! You should also go follow them on Instagram @herfuturecoalition and @ourfutureofchange! Without further ado, here are 20 resources to help you educate yourself about gender violence and human trafficking throughout the world! *Note: Though I cannot provide a trigger warning for every piece in this list, I advise you to take care of yourself and respect your personal boundaries. If you think mentions of sexual assault or other trauma may be harmful, do a bit of research about the book before reading! You are no less of an ally for taking care of yourself and I support all attempts to educate yourself! Stay safe and healthy. These are heavy topics <3 20 Ways to Learn About Human Trafficking Websites (6): Her Future Coalition Polaris Project End Slavery Now Shared Hope International United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (Human Trafficking Section) Antislavery.org Books (10): Sold by Patricia McCormick Human Trafficking Around the World: Hidden in Plain Sight by Stephanie Hepburn and Rita Simon Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale: A Memoir by Rachel Lloyd Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy by Kevin Bales Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn Are Women Human? Violence against Women and Girls by Carol Rittner and Deirdre Mullan The White Umbrella: Walking with Survivors of Sex Trafficking by Mary Frances Bowley This Is No Ordinary Joy: How the Courage of Survivors Transformed My Life by Sarah Symons A Promise to Nadia: A True Story of a British Slave in the Yemen by Zana Muhsen Human Trafficking: A Global Perspective by Louise Shelley Other (4): Academic Journal: The Journal of Human Trafficking https://www.tandfonline.com/toc/uhmt20/0/0 New York Times: Human Trafficking Subsection https://www.nytimes.com/topic/subject/human-trafficking The CNN Freedom Project https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2018/specials/freedom-project/ UNICEF Human Trafficking Resources https://www.unicefusa.org/mission/protect/trafficking/end Here is a PDF version if you'd like!
Here’s a scenario for the last major type of gender bias. After this I will likely not be posting Instagram threads from this series, but if you all would like more examples, I’d be happy to keep writing these short blog posts! Just let me know. Now, let’s get into it!
Say a colleague comments to you that another coworker “only got the promotion because she’s __ (a woman of color).” You know that this woman has been working hard for a long time for this opportunity, and you believe it was well-deserved. You can simply ask, “What makes you say that?” Sometimes that’s enough to make someone rethink their view. Or better yet, stand up for your coworker: “I think she got the promotion because she’s terrific and has done excellent work.” You might also take the opportunity to make a larger point about the value of diversity: “Plus, it’s good for the company to have more women of color in senior roles, because diverse teams tend to perform better. Anyway, would you rather everyone in our office have similar or diverse backgrounds in general?” If they don’t seem to be catching on, or if you feel the need to expand, here’s what you can say: “People tend to underestimate women’s talents compared to men’s—and that bias can be even stronger when it comes to women of color. That means that women often have to accomplish more to show that they’re as competent as men. And when a woman of color succeeds, some people discount her accomplishments and assume that her success is due to external factors like affirmative action, rather than her own hard work and achievements. If this idea goes unchallenged, it reinforces a damaging stereotype about the talent of people from underrepresented groups and discounts the additional layers of bias that they’ve had to overcome to get to where they are now. Comments like this can foster sexism and racism and make the workplace feel hostile to some employees—and employees are generally less happy in hostile workplaces.” Hope you've enjoyed this series! Big things are coming soon and I couldn't be more excited. See you soon! Before I jump in, I want to make clear that this is a short introduction to the first 2 waves of American feminism. I wanted it to be an engaging and interesting read. If you’re interested in learning more, just reach out and I’ll send resources and more information! Also, if you see "womxn" and are confused, it's a way to be inclusive of trans women! Alright, let’s get started.
There’s a common sentiment, especially on social media, that feminism has morphed into something that is “too much.” There’s a lot to unpack in this idea. First, address their complete misunderstanding. Yes, feminism has become extremely widespread and prominent. But is the movement bad? The flaws in the movement result from people who don’t do their research and don’t fully understand the ideas. To be clear, this can include both people who identify as feminists and those who do not. History classes have not helped. Let’s dive in. The first wave of feminism (1850-1940) was extremely flawed in that it was not intersectional and it was rooted in racism. The overarching ideals were, and still are, equal rights, like the vote and other legal rights that many take for granted today. However, the victories they achieved were largely only victories for white women. Recognizing that advocating for women of color may slow their cause, this era of feminism became extremely white-centric. Many WOC activists, particularly black and Asian frontliners, were pushed out of the movement. The first wave was simply not inclusive, and it only brought about basic rights for white women, many of whom were opposed to the movement in the first place. The second wave (1960s-80s) focused more on systemic oppression and social objectification of women. Issues such as reproductive freedom, education equality, the wage gap, patriarchal values, and sexist power structures were central to the movement. It’s important to note that while more inclusive than the initial wave, this movement was not entirely intersectional. The major issue with this movement was that it again divided women, which counteracts the idea of feminism. It exemplified the idea of “white feminism,” overlooking the additional struggles faced by women of color. In addition, many interpreted the staunch confidence of these feminists as if they looked down on women who did desire to live as wives, mothers, and housewives. Their condescending manner and lack of recognition of the layers of identity were problematic. So what about feminism now? Well, this is the first truly intersectional and global movement that is inclusive of all forms of gender identity, race, sexuality, ability, age, class, and religion. Though based on the same overarching principle of equality, it encompasses a range of issues from sexual violence to beauty standards. Most importantly, it does not tell womxn what to believe or desire. Rather, it supports what womxn want for themselves, and it demands that those who do not identify as female support womxn as well, promoting the idea that feminism is truly for everybody and should no longer be considered something radical and divisive. Because equality, no matter who you are, is not a radical idea. So, when someone tells you they wish feminism would go back to what it “used to be,” you may want to ask them exactly what they mean and what they’ve misunderstood. Help them recognize that they are contradicting themselves by saying that they support women and equal rights but don’t identify as feminists. Though we, as teenagers, do not experience or witness maternal bias quite as often as other forms of bias, it is still crucial to understand so that we can call it out in the future. Here’s the scenario!
Say a colleague recommends a man for promotion over a woman, saying, “I’m not sure about her long-term commitment. She just got engaged, and she must want to have kids soon.” This assumption may sound pretty egregious to our ears, but it is a deeply rooted stigma that still exists, particularly in the workplace. Suggest to your colleague that women should decide for themselves whether or not they want to take on new challenges at work. “Do you think that was a fair assumption to make? I’m sure she can decide for herself if her personal life will affect her career.” If you’re feeling bold, you can also point out the double standard: “It’s hard to imagine that we’d say that about a man who recently got engaged. I’m sure any man would want to be a committed father as well!” And, as always, it can’t hurt to clearly explain the issue. Here’s one way to do so: “When women get engaged or married, people—consciously or unconsciously—start to question their competence and commitment, based on the mistaken belief that women can’t be fully present at work if they have family responsibilities at home, as well as the assumption that the women desires to raise children in the first place. When coworkers make assumptions about a woman’s commitment to work based on what’s happening in her personal life, it unfairly limits her opportunities—and could cause your company to miss out on a highly committed candidate. It’s also illegal in many states to consider a person’s marital or parental status as a factor in promotions. Please be more considerate!” We have one more scenario coming up! I’ll be back in two days. Performance bias is extremely common, particularly in the workplace. There are countless scenarios I could have used for today's walkthrough, but I went with this one because I think we’ve all seen it happen before, whether in the classroom/workplace, on television, or in many other areas of daily life. Let’s get right into it!
Say you witness a situation where a male boss consistently questions a female worker’s knowledge of something firmly in her expertise, or assumes he understands her area better than she does. It may not bode well for you to question your boss, but if he is clearly not listening to the woman stand up for herself, you should support the woman by highlighting her expertise. You can say something like, “You may not know this, but __ (her name) is our resident expert on the topic” or “__ (her name) actually wrote a report about this last year.” Longer term, consider making a more concerted effort to highlight the expertise of all the women on your team—not only in the moment, but regularly. Seek their insights in meetings and point people with relevant questions in their direction. Though you pointing these things out may do enough, you can also make an effort to lay it out clearly. So here’s a possible way to do so: “People tend to overestimate men’s performance and underestimate women’s. As a result, they are more likely to doubt women’s competence and question their judgment. Moments like this add up: women are twice as likely as men to have their competence questioned at work. Over time, it can make the women themselves feel less happy in their jobs and more likely to consider leaving. We need to trust that women are just as qualified as men to do their jobs.” Hope this was helpful! I’ll be back with another one in two days. My newest reading list is out! I was a little surprised to see how many of you had requested this list, but as I researched and compiled, I began to realize how important it is. Societal gender norms are present at the earliest stages of our lives, and they are instilled in us from the start. Little girls and boys are taught that boys don't cry and girls like pink and princesses. Ideas like this are present everywhere in picture books and other children's literature. It is critical to actively avoid this in order to raise children in a way where the books they read are not contradicting the ideas you teach them. When they learn to read, the content that they consume should teach them the same lessons that you are! I hope this list is a good starting place for all of you who requested it! Happy reading. Here's the Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zflh4R9cNZN0FlMG6Dw9RzpmgIL4ty_pMbKYLC0K1Wc/edit?usp=sharing Here's a PDF Version:
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Neha SaggiFounder and director of LeadHERship. Archives
March 2021
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